Sleepless Dreams

I'm completely exhausted, tired to the point of delirium but somehow I can't close my eyes.  Every time I try, I see beautiful brown green eyes and a smile that lights up my world.  Tonight I am happy, tonight I am loved and free.  For the first time in years I feel young again, young and beautiful.  
The night we met, he spun me around and kissed my next.  Gorgeous, he called me, Gorgeous, whispering it to my white pleated collar, "You are so fucking gorgeous."  He walked me back, I think, I've tried so hard to remember- we talked about money or politics but really it was his smile that captivated me.  I tried to go home, thought I was going home, but somehow my next memory is of two bodies crushed into one twin xl bed- a sweet whisper in my ear begging me to stay, telling me that we could just be together and that was enough.  And once again, I was Gorgeous. 
It might have been then that I felt my soul tugging at me, feeling so close to it's match, or maybe that's just a retrospective leap of the imagination.  Either way, weeks later I found a way to deliberately put myself in his path, and there he was again with that same beautiful smile.
I love him now, love him comfortably and passionately all at the same time- and more than anything in the world I want to belong to him.  I'm exhausted by distance and the push and pull of everyday life, but somehow when I close my eyes, the smile is far more persuasive than sleep.