EDM

That night was so cold it was hot.  I tried to wear red lipstick, but somehow on me it doesn't look effortless and I spend my night finding reflecting surfaces to make sure it hasn't bled outside the lines.
You were handsome, my love, in your white linen suit.  I think that's the night I fell for you, really.  There was your smile, the lovely dimples, and your confidence; cool and collected you could take care of me- and take care of me too.
Somehow every memory of you is overlaid with an electric pulse, a pop heart beat.  I wonder if I knew then that it couldn't all last.
You and me, swaying around your bedroom to a song with no beginning and no end.  The room smelled like comfort, sweat, incense.
We were that couple you know, if only for a moment.

And now, where has it gone?
Can I ever forgive myself if I leave everything I've ever wanted behind to be with you?
Can I forgive you if I do?

Somedays, the choice seems easy- other days not so much.  I have no idea what I'm going to do, but no matter what I choose it will break my heart.

I love you, my dearest, my darling, my Matthew.  I love you.

But for the first time in my life I'm wondering, is that really enough?