One day at a time

I can't say all the things I want to right now, so I'll put them here instead.  I can't decide if I will actually publish this or not. 
Wed, Sept 14 2:46 am
I love you, sweet dreams darling.
11:03am
It's freezing outside, you would have laughed this morning at our reading in Theater.  It was all a big long "that's what she said."  Also lots of discussions about phallus.  Come snuggle with me?
12:41pm
I met the freshman who lives in your old room at the house a couple of days ago.  We laughed about the angry wall together.  Side-note:  Do you know the urban dictionary definition of "Spelunking?"  They might want to re-think the terminology. 
12:53pm
Boomer is creeping on me again. I've told him to stop, I've told him I don't consider myself really single right now, and he won't.  I just want to be protected, I am getting kind of freaked out about that situation.  Love you so much.
4:34pm
I'm sorry about the status, clearly I did not think it through.  I love that picture I put online last night of you on Peyton's car, I debated for half an hour whether or not I was allowed to put it up.  I decided that as long as I didn't tag you, it was ok.  My RA brought me a note today- I talked to her last night about maybe going to the counseling center.  She is far more impressed with my "strength" and "courage" then I am right now.  I really want to go to that dance party this weekend, simply because I miss dancing- but I'm afraid you will be so mad if you find out.  I don't want to make you mad or worried right now.  I lvoe you (You don't remember it, but you started saying that to me a little under three years ago.)
7:10pm
I'm not listening to them this time.  Little voices in my ear telling me "He's going to leave you, he doesn't mean it, you know how he will deal with things...."  Unlike the last time though, this time I'm not agreeing.  I'm telling them that no, you looked me in the eyes and I believe you.  You're a good person and we will get through this somehow (I hope.)  I love you, I don't doubt you but I wish I could look into your eyes again and know that I'm right.
7:30pm
Random thought, are you in Greek Sing?  I don't think I can go if you are.  It's too hard to see you and not be able to talk to you.
8:48pm
It's so hard not to talk to you.  I know you're talking to everyone I'm close with, and I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that I just can't.  I hate this.  So far I have come up with roughly a bazillion excuses to just say hello, but I'm staying strong (so far.)  I just want to say goodnight.  I won't even use the "L" word.  I promise.
11:51pm
I miss you so so so so so so much.  I just want to tell you goodnight.  And also that I gave my one formal dress to a girl to wear for tri-delt pref night...I'm helping the freaking tri-delts (gross.) I want another kiss on the forehead, the one yesterday made me greedy for more.  I love you.  Sleep well.

(to be continued.)