On Censorship

There are some things perhaps better left unsaid. But then, I promised myself once that I wasn't going to bend, I wasn't going to change anything for anyone. So here is the truth, the whole (partial) truth.

"You wouldn't look at someone like that if you didn't actually like them. You care a lot about me, why don't you just admit it?" He made it too easy, they all made it too easy...practiced words slipping off her tongue and forming meaningless sentences that appeased. Meanwhile, her mind traveling at warped speed, realizing and rationalizing. Meridith was cold this night. And who's to say that she did not deserve to be cozy? It's not like he wasn't enjoying himself...if he wanted more he had a phone full of names he could try. She knew this, and somehow it made her feel better. Being used was infinitely easier then using people.

Admittedly written years ago, decades it seems. In time my mind has altered these things, changed them and made them somehow perfect; flawless. And these cold lonely nights I re-read and remember emotion. I make no apologies. Now, full circle. I'm back to screaming into pillows. And I can't write a damned thing that's real.