I'm on a plane and I'm going to die. There are only a few of us here, seven or eight. We're gathered in the front of the cabin leaving all the seats behind us empty, I sit alone in my row and looking around I realize I'm the furthest back. In front of my are my mom and my brother, and I think they're crying. I know I am.
"Mommy, Mama I don't want to die. Mama please don't make this be happening, make it go away!"
"I know honey, I know, shhhh."
She squeezes the hand that I snake around the seat but the terror in her voice equals my own. My brother is silent, he sits eyes forward to the front of the cabin. The others here are half crying, half silent. Through my daze I see a middle aged woman going through hysterics while her husband sits silently by, face unmoving.
Looking down I find my phone on my lap. We're going to die anyway, in flight procedure be damned. Tapping the speed dial I get nothing at first, then finally one shaky bar. Maybe not enough to be heard, but enough to try. I don't even wait for an answer, I just clutch it to my face and sob in a half whisper.
"I love you Jon, I love you I love you I love you..."
Mom still grips my hand. Seconds left to say the things I thought I had a lifetime to say.
Seconds left.
34th and Lexington
15 years ago
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