Tonight, tonight.

It's finally hit me, I think.  (can't breath can't think can't sleep can't eat.) 
Mostly I can't keep seeing you and knowing I can't talk to you or laugh with you or love you.
I don't know how to not talk to you yet.  I can't believe that I can't just click on your name to tell you that I love you, or the idiotic things I did today, or how I get to start my new job tomorrow.  In my head you're rolling your eyes and laughing at me, I can remember how you used to look at me like I was the only woman in the world.
I wish I couldn't remember.
I can't bring myself to purge you from my life.  I can't delete the conversations, the photos, I can't knowingly wipe you out of my life. 
I would give anything to hear you tell me you want to be with me. 

I love you, hon, darling, lover, babe.  I love you and I want you in my life.  I hope I fit.