Fading

Sometimes I think about what would happen if he left.
Sometimes I force myself to know that not everything can be a forever.
I try to believe that I could go back to invisible girl that easily, that I could slip back into my old life.
Not true.
If he left that would be the end of me. If I fell of the face of the planet tomorrow, there is one person in the world who would notice my absence. If that one person no longer cares that what good am I to anyone?
So instead of becoming invisible, I think I would become a slip of paper. Then I could burn or be shredded into a million tiny pieces or simply float away. So much more graceful and dramatic then this fade away, fade away, fade away.

He tells me that he would be able to pick himself up, move on. I'm jealous, jealous because that is something I've proved myself incapable of mastering. Whatever happens, I will always love him. And no matter what I said on those long long night wanders, he will always be the very first one I really loved.

But for now, perhaps, it's fade away, fade away, fade away.